What's This Music For?

Most people know that September 19 is International Talk like a Pirate Day.  Not as well known, but equally FAR MORE important, is the fact that today, September 20, is Multinational Talk Like Christopher Walken Talking Like a Pirate Day.  In honor of this glorious event,  we offer this:

The first subject covered in my initial undergraduate chemical engineering class was unit conversions.  You know, like how many seconds in a year, how many ounces in a ton, or answering questions like “If a chicken-and-a-half chicken can lay an egg-and-a-half in a day-and-a-half, how long will it take 2 chickens to lay 4 eggs?”

I was reminded about unit conversions the other day at the studio (a.k.a. Brian’s Basement) when I saw a book Brian had purchased called An Inside Look at the Guitar Styles of Steely Dan.  The book itself is great.  But the cover photo is just, well… surreal.  In particular, check out Donald Fagen (the guy on the left).

Sure, the man is a genius, but have you ever seen a photo of someone who looked so cheerless?

Think about it.  Someone took a picture of him, he looked at the picture, and said “USE THAT ONE.”

And so, in honor of Donald, I have decided to rank my own fits of dissatisfaction using the FMU (Fagen Misery Units) scale.

Have to re-record a bass line? That’s one FMU: 

Sucky project at work? That’s a three-bagger:     

You get the idea.

FMU’s.  It’s gonna be a thing.

John here.  Though I’ve primarily played bass guitar in my collaborations with Brian over the last 10 years, I started out as a keyboard player.  And the first keyboard I ever played (in the first band I was ever in back in 10th grade) was the Farfisa Combo Compact.  The sound could be harsh, but the keyboard itself had a great feel, and was awesome for both rhythm accompaniment and solos, especially when paired with a Mutron Phasor II, which I also owned.

Sadly, I never liked that keyboard when I had it — there was another (a Crumar something-or-other) I lusted after that I could have afforded, but that my parents forbade me to buy (confession: my friend Tony and I spent one afternoon cutting wires in the Farfisa guts, in hopes of rendering it unusable so that my parents would relent and permit me to purchase the Crumar — note to kids out there: THIS DID NOT WORK). A few years later, I bought a 3 octave organ/string synthesizer and gave away the Farfisa.

Gave it away.

But if I hadn’t, I believe in my heart that I would have eventually created this video: