Independent, Original Rock Band
Cast of Characters (In order of
appearance)
Jack Coleman – a young musician
Rev. Fleming – Preacher at Jack’s parents’ church
Mr. Coleman – Jack’s Father
Mrs. Coleman – Jack’s Mother
Rich – member of Jack’s band
Keith – member of Jack’s band
Lucy – Jackie’s lover and bandmate
Ronnie – member of Jackie’s band
A stranger
An A&R man
An anonymous fan
Chorus:In a little valley, there's a little town under a little mountain—little people run around. There's a little person—"Jack" is his name—he's in a lot of trouble, but he's not to blame.
Life isn't easy, if there's one thing we know, but it's twice as hard for two-spirit souls.
From the day they're born, most everyone learn what they're allowed, and what can't be done. Jack loves his parents, and his girlfriend, too. He loves to play guitar; he hopes his dreams come true.
Life isn't easy, if there's one thing we know, but it's twice as hard for two-spirit souls.
Scene 1: Jack sits alone in his bedroom.
Jack: I was taught when I was a child what it means to be a man; I’m growing up and I try to do those things the best I can. When the crowd has gone away, and I'm alone again, I find myself in sister's closet, and enclose myself within.
This is me. What I'm not supposed to feel; it’s fantasy, it's real. The girl inside the boy; the curse that may destroy me.
How can pleasure be so painful? How can beauty be a sin? What's the meaning of these desires? Why am I the way I am? This image in the mirror—how I love it, how I hate it—seeing the pretty young girl, seeing disgraced and tragic boy.
This is me. What I'm not supposed to feel; it’s fantasy, it's real. The girl inside the boy; the curse that may destroy me.
Scene 2: The Coleman family sits in church on Sunday morning.
Rev. Fleming: Moses wandered forty years through that desert bare looking for the land of milk and honey promised there. Children, just like him, we must believe what we are told, for we know not what the future holds.
Rev. Fleming, Mr. and Mrs. Coleman: Memories take us back to elder days, when a man was a man and always stayed that way. When the world outside makes us want to run and hide, family values keep us safe.
Mrs. Coleman: I love the lonesome valleys and the mountains of my home; I never have a cause for care, I never want to roam. Evil men in evil cities far away from here want to change everything we hold dear.
Rev. Fleming, Mr. and Mrs. Coleman: Memories take us back to elder days, when a man was a man and always stayed that way. When the world outside makes us want to run and hide, family values keep us safe.
Mr. Coleman: The Lord has measured out the cup with tender care and grace; we drink to live or drink to die, but each one has his place. Ours is not to question, but to take what we receive; the open mind is easily deceived.
Rev. Fleming, Mr. and Mrs. Coleman: Memories take us back to elder days, when a man was a man and always stayed that way. When the world outside makes us want to run and hide, family values keep us safe.
Scene 3: Jack daydreams in his bedroom.
Jack: Vibrations in the air are all that keep me sane; this thing we call music keeps me with the grain. Vibrations in the air, the atoms swirling in my ears; how can it be, those tiny things drying up my tears? Vibrations in the air, waves rolling from the sea—the sea of all meaning, where I long to be.
Vibrations. Meanwhile, there's a dream growing I can't say out loud: one day I could be star, make them all proud, and stand up, let the sound caress me, pull off my shroud. Feel myself rise above the crowd.
Scene 4: Mrs. Coleman surprises Jack at home
Mrs. Coleman: Lord, have mercy! I come home early, and what do I find? I can't stop staring at what you're wearing—you must be out of your mind! Your sister's best dress, your face is a mess—where did I go wrong? It's a desecration, this abomination taking place in our good home. [Aside] It mystifies me how he went astray. Can he be saved before judgment day?
Jack: I'm sorry that I have caused such sorrow; it must be my heart is full of sin. I promise I'll walk the straight and narrow; I won't do it again.
Mr. Coleman: My one and only son, doing what you've done, how can you stand here? How can you play games, and lie, and still claim that you are not queer? God has a plan for woman and man; there is no in-between. We'll go see the preacher; I hope he can teach you to turn your back on the obscene. [Aside] It mystifies me how he went astray. Can he be saved before judgment day?
Jack: I'm sorry that I have caused such sorrow; it must be my heart is full of sin. I promise I'll walk the straight and narrow; I won't do it again.
Rev. Fleming: Demons, leave! You must not deceive this boy any longer! Jack, you must pray to help you obey, and make your faith grow stronger. [Aside] It mystifies me how he went astray. Can he be saved before judgment day?
Jack: I'm sorry that I have caused such sorrow; it must be my heart is full of sin. I promise I'll walk the straight and narrow; I won't do it again.
Scene 5: Jack sits alone in his bedroom.
Jack: Every night when I close my eyes, I pray to God above, “Please take this sin away; fill me with hope and love”. I try so hard to fight it, but desire always wins: I’m back at the closet door, and step inside again.
This is me. What I'm not supposed to feel; it’s fantasy, it's real. The girl inside the boy; the curse that may destroy me.
Scene 5: Jack is confronted by Rev. Fleming and his parents in church.
Rev. Fleming: It comes down to you: you can’t admit you’re wrong. Now you have to choose whether you want to belong. God’s looking down now; His heart is hard as stone. If you keep walking that wide road, you’re gonna feel all alone when you wake up tomorrow looking for a cold sun rising on a cold, dark dawn.
Mr. Coleman: You’ve got a selfish way, and you hurt us so. Since you won’t change, you’re gonna have to go. God’s looking down now; His heart is hard as stone. If you keep walking that wide road, you’re gonna feel all alone when you wake up tomorrow looking for a cold sun rising on a cold, dark dawn.
Mr. & Mrs. Coleman: Come back, son, we love you! We don’t understand what makes you do the things you do. Come back son, we want you! We want what’s best for you, even if you don’t.
Jack: I feel your jagged eyes when I close my own. If I cause you shame, you’ll feel better when I’m gone. God’s looking down now; His heart is hard as stone. The way you create hate fuel, I won’t be the only one, no, no, who wakes up tomorrow looking for a cold sun rising on a cold, dark dawn.
Scene 1: Jack sits in his apartment, looking out the window.
Jack: City streets are lonely when you call the country home. City streets are lonely when you call the country home. Never seen so many people; never felt so alone. I know the words they say, but I still don't understand. I know the words they say, but I still don't understand. I thought that I could be free, but I'm just a stranger in a strange land. My bed is hard and cold, and midnight fills my brain. My bed is hard and cold, and midnight fills my brain. I got myself a woman, but “Music” is her name.
Scene 2: A local bar. Jack and his band step onstage.
Jack: [To band] For years it's been my dream to break the music scene, to show the world my songs, and hope they sing along. So now the time is near—that's why you all are here—a band of brothers we should be. Count it off, now one, two, three!
[To audience] Well, the band's all here, and the way is clear—they can't stop it. We're gonna play each part till it's down by heart, then we can rock it. We got something to show this town; we'll make the walls shake right down! Get ready for starlight shining down from a great height; once we start, there ain't no way to stop our flight straight to the top!
When the music's right, and the groove is tight, we're gonna make it. If the sound's too sweet, not strictly street, we can fake it. We'll step out of the limousine, nothing like the world has ever seen! Get ready for starlight shining down from a great height; once we start, there ain't no way to stop our flight straight to the top!
Scene 3: Jack leaves the bar and walks on a lonely street.
Jack: Applause, and I hold my head high, but when I step down off the stage I cry. I'm so small inside. Do I have a choice, and how do I decide? Disguise, or is it truly me? Feels so right when I'm a girl; I'm queen and I want to be seen, till I have my fill and I want to be “he”. Every voice I hear in my head tells me that it's wrong, and still I don't know where I belong, and I ask myself again, “Who am I? What am I to do?”
Names—none seem to stick. I don't think I'm gay and don't feel sick. Don't want to trim my wick, and if I had a choice, then this I wouldn't pick. Every time I think I see light, it's only an illusion, I find. Disappointment, and great confusion, and I ask myself again, “Who am I? What am I to do?”
Scene 4: Jack stands in his apartment.
Jack: The streetlight shining through the shade illuminates my face. The lipstick tube is put away, now, every hair's in place. The hallway seems deserted; check twice now, just in case. The click-clack of my heels upon the floor…a quick breath before I hurry out the door.
[Moves to street] Panic on the sidewalk, but the man just passes by; he didn't seem to notice, but still, I felt his eyes. Wonder if he wondered if this “girl” was just a guy? A light ahead eases up my mind: a place where they tolerate my kind. And I can hear a voice from yesterday: "It ain't what you're dealt, it's how you play".
[Enters gay bar] My own voice sounds so strange as I buy myself a drink. A table in the corner—just the place to stop and think. A lady taps me gently and then asks me with a wink,
“Mind if I sit down here for a spell? These heels look nice, but they sure do hurt like hell!” She could've been my mother, if she hadn't been a “he”. Her dress is quite demure, and it fits her to a "T". She says, "I've seen you here before, but you may not have seen me; you seemed to be in a world of your own. By the way, my name is Simone." And I can hear a voice from yesterday: "It ain't what you're dealt, it's how you play". She says, "I remember how it was when I was about your age. Always felt I had to hide, always in a rage. Thought if I got married, that it would go away; but you can't run forever, so I found. Took fifteen years to turn my life around. That's why I'm so glad to see a young girl like you here—no doubt you've already made your peace with all that pain and fear".
I shake my head and try to smile, and brush away a tear. "Every day, I wish the curse was gone, and I could live happily normal from now on".
She takes my hand, and I think I hear her say, “It ain't what you're dealt, it's how you play”. She says, "I know just how you feel, but it doesn't work that way. Whether this thing's written in your soul, or in your DNA, when you accept it's part of you, the pain will start to fade. It's a gift you have, one you can't erase; don't cut off your nose to spite your face".
"But don't you fear the fires of Hell, or the wrath of God above?"
"No," she says with another smile, "I think that God is love, and this is the way you and I were made. So what's to be scared of? Who does it hurt when you put on a dress? It's their expectations that cause you such distress. If there's one thing I've learned along the way, it ain't what you're dealt, it's how you play".
I take a drink in silence, staring at the floor. My whole world is shifting, and I’m eager to hear more. But she turns and waves at someone who just walked through the door.
"There's my wife, she finally made it here. I've got to run, but you take care, my dear."
[Jack goes back to his apartment] Now I'm walking home again…my head is spinning still. My future starts to open wide, and I see with a thrill I have another way to live; I hope I have the will. I feel more hope than I have ever known. I owe it to that lady named "Simone". And there's one thought I'll cling to every day: "It ain't what you're dealt, it's how you play".
Scene 5: Jack makes up in a dressing room at a local theater.
Jack: Getting ready for the show; the band is out there waiting for me. Maybe I should have let them know; my transformation will be a surprise. I should think before I give in to this urge, but the butterfly is longing to emerge. The dress is perfect, seams are straight—never have I looked so good! I've got to go or I'll be late. Ready or not, here I come.
Scene 6: Jack’s band plays onstage at the local theater.
Jack [entering]: Step right up, you ladies and gents! Betcha wonder where the old Jack went! Feast your eyes on the brand new me! The chains are off, I'm finally free! A brand new world awaits you if you dare; are you ready to come? I can take you there. I got the message every day: "Watch what you do and watch what you say". If everyone got to be themselves, we'd make heaven from this hell. A brand new world awaits you if you dare; are you ready to come?
Rich and Keith: No! No!
Jack: I can take you there.
Rich and Keith: Where?
Rich: What the hell is going on here? Have you finally flipped your lid? Our career you don't consider—would it stop you if you did?
Jack: I'm not trying to tear the band apart; all I want to do is follow my heart, make a fresh start.
Rich: We have worked so hard to make it, to find an image sure to sell. Now you make us look like fairies—for that, please just go to hell.
Rich and Keith: We had a dream; now we're watching it fall away. Watching it fall away, and we're standing in the middle of a freak show.
Jack: Look at me—I was supposed to be free!
Rich and Keith: Please go, freak show.
Jack: Look at me—I was meant to be free.
Scene 7: Jack wanders the streets of the city.
Jack: How much longer must I run? How many times will I be driven away? Don't want to die tonight, but got no reason to live. I'm a freak; tell me, please, where is shelter in this storm? Spend my time in the alley, hiding in shadows to avoid the light of day. But there’s a place, I’m told, where the people dare to love. I’m a freak, but I believe there must be shelter from the storm. [Comes to rest outside a church]
Church choir: We all need a hand to hold, a place to run when the heart gets cold. Yeah, even a freak can feel alone. Come inside, you're finally home.
Scene 8: Jack enters church.
Jack: On dark despair sunlight glares. Caught unaware, an answered prayer. I'm so tired of running and hiding and being cool. Surprised to find myself among others feeling that way, too.
Congregants: What brings us here, draws us near? The answer's clear—we need our peers. We’re so tired of plastic faces on every screen; the real world is marked with scars, the sacred and obscene, and we are somewhere in between.
Jack: I am; please take my hand. In this strange land we don't have to be strangers.
Congregants: This place where we belong…together we're strong. When we know we're loved, we can love.
Scene 9: Jackie sits in his apartment.
Jackie: Now that I have found a place of comfort and refuge, now that I know there's somewhere where I can let my self shine through, now that I've found community, what do I dare to do? Can I start anew? Can I start anew, now that I've found a place? It's time to start again, see where this music takes me. It's time to start a band; this time won't hide my reality. It's time to play again, find a place where we can be totally free. Totally free. It's time to start again.
Scene 10: Jackie and new band play at local club.
Jackie: Just when I thought life was slipping away, I opened my eyes and started a brand new day. Now, once again I'm playing in a rock and roll band, and we've got a message I'm sure you can understand. Now, you boys listen!
Band: Put on the lipstick, put on the lipstick!
Jackie: You know that clothes can make the man!
Band: Put on the lipstick, put on the lipstick!
Jackie: The age of the beautiful people just began!
All you pretty things don't need to hide; our time has come and we won't be denied. Every woman and man can be a star—uncover your lights and show us who you are!
Band: Put on the lipstick, put on the lipstick!
Jackie: You know that clothes can make the man!
Band: Put on the lipstick, put on the lipstick!
Jackie: The age of the beautiful people just began!
Band: Secret sisters come and play; others like you feel this way.
Scene 1: Jackie and band get ready for a show at a local club.
Jackie: Here I am—another night and another show. The buzz outside is starting to grow. Here in town, people starting to know our name—another step on the road toward fame.
Lucy and Ronnie: Here we are! The days are bright and our fortunes are rising. The band is good, but it's still surprising. Here we are! The fans are excited—it's all too much—but the star of the show seems strangely out of touch…
Jackie: I saw myself as a rock and roll star, that’s all I ever desired, but now I'm halfway up the mountain and can't get higher. Am I happy? Guess I should be. The dream's unreal, can't seem to feel it—something's missing.
Lucy and Ronnie: Backstage frown…the band tunes up but the silence is shocking. There's something wrong but she's not talking. Lights go down. [The band moves onstage] There's applause when Jackie appears; she steps onstage, but she's not quite here.
Jackie: Sometimes I feel like I'm so ungrateful, cause I'm still not satisfied. The roar of the crowd is drowning out a voice that’s crying, “am I happy?” Guess I should be. The dream's unreal, can't seem to feel it—something's missing.
Scene 2: Jackie’s apartment; Jackie watches TV while Lucy reads
Lucy: Honey, listen to this. "Many
native tribes of
Jackie: The struggle of my life is knowing where I fit—am I a boy or girl? Shouldn't I commit? A battle of the sexes fought inside of me; two spirits entwined, but can't quite agree. Life isn’t easy, if there’s one thing we know, but it’s twice as hard for two-spirit souls. Between black and white, there's usually gray; could this be a way?
Jackie: There's someone with a light that shines, who paints outside the lines so happily—I think that could be me. Long ago I was someone; before I was the perfect son, I could simply be—I think that could be me.
Jackie and Lucy: Don't listen to their words of hate and fear, that blessings fall on the chosen few; they've been saying that for a thousand years.
Jackie: Can I feel that I belong, stop thinking that there's something wrong with me? I think that could be me.
Jackie and Lucy: Don't listen to their words of hate and fear, that blessings fall on the chosen few; they've been saying that for a thousand years. I can't think of a reason why another star couldn't shine in the sky so brilliantly.
Jackie: I think that could be me.
Lucy: She's standing tall with a spark in her eye; her walk is sure and her head is high. She's changing right before my eyes. She was struggling not so long ago, but now her light is starting to show; she's changing right before my eyes. Glad to see she's finding her way; I prayed for it every day. I worry, and there's no guarantee there'll be room enough for me. She wanted to be the next sensation, but now she's finding a new destination. She's changing right before my eyes. Glad to see she's finding her way; I prayed for it every day. I worry, and there's no guarantee there'll be room enough for me. Gone is the man I used to know, with fame in his eyes and a lock on his soul; she's changing right before my eyes.
Scene 3: Jackie and band rehearse.
Jackie: There’s lots of things they’ll tell you when you pick up a guitar. And you start to dream you’ll “make it”, that you’ll be a superstar. Everybody wants to get ahead, till they leave themselves behind. But there’s something got you started; all the rest is in your mind. What’s music but a way to glimpse what is greater than ourselves? There ain’t much can hold us together in this world we’ve got today. You feel that someone’s gonna get you, always one more price to pay. But just one note at the right time brings down the walls keeping us apart. It’s more than just the latest thing; it echoes deep within your heart. What’s music but a way to glimpse what is greater than ourselves?
Band: We've been paying our dues; now a chance for the next step is here: we're the opening act for the hippest band of the year. A big outdoor concert, and a way to reach more than our fans; they already know, hope others will soon understand.
Jackie: I've got a message to send, want it to spread far and wide: there's a way out of darkness; I've got some light and I can be a guide.
Band: The higher you go, the more they'll try to pull you down. The media's saying that the freak show is coming to town.
Jackie: It's perfectly clear that they don't want my kind around.
Scene 4: Outdoor festival. Jackie and band take the concert stage.
Jackie: Hey, all you people with you heads bent low: break out of your cells, your cells. I was a prisoner, too, not long ago, until I broke the spell, broke the spell. I've gone beneath the surface of things; I've got the real stuff, the real stuff. I've seen what the future can bring if we work hard enough, hard enough. I'm a messenger, messenger of love. A messenger, messenger of love. See all these people, how they cling to the past, and living in fear, in fear. The past is over and the present won't last; the future is here, it starts here. They may put you down and call you a freak, but don't you hesitate, hesitate. If only they would think before they speak; we've got to set them straight, set them straight. I'm a messenger, messenger of love. A messenger, messenger of love.
Band: Secret sisters, come and play; others like you feel this way.
Stranger: “The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man; neither shall a man put on a woman's garment. For all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God.”
Look at him—or should I say “it”—a loathsome creature, denying its nature. Assuming the taint of Eve, spreading its master's deceits; in this Christian town I've got to strike it down. As a soldier of the Word, I'm called to send it speeding into Hell! [Fires gun repeatedly]
Scene 5: Hospital room. Jackie lies sleeping while Lucy sits beside her.
Lucy: I never thought it would come to this: nights spent by a hospital bed. Knowing she's safe, but I can't stop dark thoughts spinning in my head. Wake up, wake up, my love. Tell me, tell me, what are you dreaming of?
Jackie [waking]: I've been slipping back and forth, it seems, between consciousness and dreams. The bullet that passed through my body also wounded my soul. Oh, I don't know, oh, where to go.
Jackie and Lucy: Darkness and confusion, darkness and confusion.
Lucy: I've been watching you hold on to life, but there's trouble in the world outside: there's people marching and holding signs, and they blame you. They blame you. The crowd pulled that assassin down; their anger ran through this sleepy town. The police don't want their kind around, and they blame you. They blame you. The papers say you should be put on trial, you had it coming, and all the while, the gunman's wearing a secret smile, 'cause they blame you. They blame you.
Jackie: They blame me? They blame me! I've had it up to here with being pushed around, and I've had enough of being put down! I'm gonna have my way! Those bastards gonna pay! I'll watch them keep on sinking till they drown! An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, my vengeance gonna find its way to you! An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, my vengeance gonna find its way to you!
Maybe I should feed my hate inside; love is so hard to sustain. Maybe I should wave my dreams goodbye—nothing is ever going to change. I'm so tired, too tired to try.
Mrs. Coleman [entering]: My son, my son, what have they done? I pray that you'll take heed! Will you come back home, now that you know where sin will lead? You can be a normal, happy man, and no more go astray, when you take the Lord into your heart and cast the Devil away. You must take the Lord into your heart, and cast the Devil away. Come back, son, we love you. We don’t understand what makes you do the things you do. Come back son, we want you. We want what’s best for you, even if you don’t.
Jackie: Maybe I should feed my fear inside, trade control for golden chains. Maybe I should wave my dreams goodbye—nothing is ever going to change. I'm so tired, too tired to try.
A&R man [enters]: Let me introduce myself: I'm no small-time operator, I'm the label's chief starmaker! I’m gonna show you how far I can take you. Take a look around you; the elements are all here now. Believe that I can show you how your misfortune is really a cash cow. Androgyny is a hook that can't be beat! And now your image is of danger on the street! Parents will want you banned; that will increase the kids' demand. We’ll dress you sexy and really turn up the heat! So welcome to the big time, son, and all that you desire. You're the rock and roll messiah! I'm gonna make you the new messiah! Well, what are you waiting for? Here’s the pen…sign!
Jackie: Maybe I should feed my greed inside, use any means to reach for fame. Maybe I should wave myself goodbye—nothing is ever going to change. I'm so tired, too tired to try.
Anonymous fan [enters]: Well, I'm sorry to disturb you, with all the visitors you've got, but I had to come and see you—I hope I don't get caught. I'm one who heard your message, and it really meant a lot. When I heard that some are blaming you, I knew I had to share my point of view.
I'm another of the lucky ones born with a girl inside. I tried so hard to kill her; I even tried suicide. But then I saw you play and sing, that's when I realized I'm not alone, and I'll probably make it through. You gave me hope, now I give it back to you. [Leaves]
Jackie: I walk along the road in sadness and dismay, looking up to see the mountains in my way. Lie down and look into the sky; eyes close 'cause I'll never reach that high. There are no mountains, there is no sky; the truth is here before our eyes, but we turn away. The past reaches out with tendrils, so slow, tormenting and soothing us, but never letting go. While the future sings its siren song of the wonders and the dangers we will meet before too long. There is no future, there is no past; the truth is here before our eyes, but we turn away. When God is divided, there is a need for names; many fingers pointing, but the moon remains the same. Meanwhile, a universe exists behind your eyes; you talk about it, but all I hear are lies. There is no human, and no divine; the truth is here before our eyes, but we turn away. There is no woman, there is no man; the truth is here before your eyes—please don't turn away.
Jackie [gets out of bed]: You gaze in the face of evil and feel powerless. You look down to the ground and worry about the mess we're in. But sometimes you glimpse hope for tomorrow, when you help someone, and you know you want to do it again. Is there anything more you can do than what you're doing? Is there anything more you can say than what's been said? There's people out there who fear a revolution, and there's other people who want to see it spread. I wanna stand up and be counted; I'm not gonna crawl back into myself. I'm gonna stand up and be counted; if there's a place for change to start, it's gotta be right inside my heart.
Just about everyone feels like an outcast sometime. You try and you try but you just don't seem to fit. It's easy to curse and turn your back on the cold, cruel world, but there's more love somewhere, and we've got to find it. I wanna stand up and be counted; I'm not gonna crawl back into myself. I'm gonna stand up and be counted; if there's a place for change to start, it's gotta be right inside my heart.
All: Life isn't easy, if there's one thing we know, but it's twice as hard when you go it alone. I wanna stand up and be counted; I'm not gonna crawl back into myself. I'm gonna stand up and be counted; if there's a place for change to start, it's gotta be right inside my heart.
Lyrics © 2006 Chameleon Red. All rights reserved.
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