What's This Music For?

My brain works in mysterious (and goofy) ways.  A couple of nights ago, my sleep was disturbed by flashbacks to an old CHiPs episode from 1982 called “Rock Devil Rock”.  In the episode, Gene Simmons/Alice Cooper-inspired rock star Moloch, played by Don Most (yes, Ralph Malph), is riding high on his hit song “Devil Take Me” when he begins receiving audio death threats accompanied by actual attempts on his life.  There’s a cameo by Elvira, Mistress of the Dark (hubba hubba) and the episode is directed by John Astin (yes, Gomez Addams).  It’s a pretty campy episode, looking back on it now, but at the time it really scared me.

Keep in mind that I had not seen this episode since it first aired, but still remembered many details, including parts of “Devil Take Me” and the sinister messages Moloch received (“Moloch must die!”, “Moloch will die!”, “Moloch is dead, his fiery breath.”)  At the time this episode came out, the “backward masking” controversy was in full swing and was alluded to in the show.  It’s probably the fact that I was so frightened by purported secret messages hidden in popular songs, not to mention the Devil, that made the show stick in my mind.  What caused it to reemerge from the recesses of my brain?  Probably seeing reruns of CHiPs recently, and my quirky audio memory.  Here’s the first part of the episode:

More love for mondegreens (misheard lyrics).  Here are a few from people I know personally, including me.  Again, no names have been used, to protect the guilty.

Hannah/Barbera: “Meet the Flintstones”
Misheard lyrics: “Let’s ride with the family down the street/Through the courtesy of Fred’s Boutique”
Real lyrics: “…Through the courtesy of Fred’s two feet”

The Young Rascals: “Good Lovin'”
Misheard lyrics: “Doodle up!”
Real lyrics: “Good lovin’!”

Martin Briley: “Salt In My Tears”
Misheard lyrics: “You ain’t worth the salt in my ears”
Real lyrics: “You ain’t worth the salt in my tears”

The Flying Burrito Brothers: “Colorado”
Misheard Lyrics: “From a rat-hole”
Real Lyrics: “Colorado”

The Doors: “Roadhouse Blues”
Misheard Lyrics: “Back at the roadhouse they got some bumpy lows”
Real Lyrics: “”Back at the roadhouse they got some bungalows”

Carly Simon: “You’re So Vain”
Misheard Lyrics: “I had some dreams, they were grounds in my coffee”
Real Lyrics: “I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee”

Jerry Lee Lewis: “Great Balls of Fire”
Misheard Lyrics: “You broke my wheel, but what a thrill”
Real Lyrics: “You broke my will, but what a thrill”

Well, not really.  It’s Jimmy Fallon doing a very good impression of mid-70’s Dylan.  I enjoy a well-done (and silly) impression.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AdwPqDZpA8

Most people know that September 19 is International Talk like a Pirate Day.  Not as well known, but equally FAR MORE important, is the fact that today, September 20, is Multinational Talk Like Christopher Walken Talking Like a Pirate Day.  In honor of this glorious event,  we offer this:

I love mondegreens (misheard lyrics).  Here are a few from people I know personally, including me.  No names have been used, to protect the guilty.

George Thorogood: “Bad to the Bone”Real lyrics: “Bad to the bone”
Misheard lyrics: “Bare to the bone”

The Steve Miller Band: “Jet Airliner”Real lyrics: “Big ol’ jet airliner”
Misheard lyrics: “Bingo Jed and Lionel”

David Bowie: “John, I’m Only Dancing”
Real lyrics: “John, I’m only dancing”
Misheard lyrics: “John, I’m old and rancid”

The Doors: “Roadhouse Blues”
Real lyrics: “Down at the roadhouse, they got some bungalows”
Misheard lyrics: “Down at the roadhouse, they got some bumpy lows”

The Presidents of the United States of America: “Cleveland Rocks”
Real lyrics: “Cleveland rocks”
Misheard lyrics: “Clean red rocks”

Def Leppard: “Pour Some Sugar On Me”
Real lyrics: “Pour some sugar on me”
Mishead lyrics: “Awesome Zudokhan love”

Three Dog Night: “Mama Told Me Not to Come”
Real lyrics: “Mama told me not to come”
Misheard lyrics: “I’m a toad in a jug”

Got any mondegreens you’d like to share?  Promise we won’t laugh…hard.

The first subject covered in my initial undergraduate chemical engineering class was unit conversions.  You know, like how many seconds in a year, how many ounces in a ton, or answering questions like “If a chicken-and-a-half chicken can lay an egg-and-a-half in a day-and-a-half, how long will it take 2 chickens to lay 4 eggs?”

I was reminded about unit conversions the other day at the studio (a.k.a. Brian’s Basement) when I saw a book Brian had purchased called An Inside Look at the Guitar Styles of Steely Dan.  The book itself is great.  But the cover photo is just, well… surreal.  In particular, check out Donald Fagen (the guy on the left).

Sure, the man is a genius, but have you ever seen a photo of someone who looked so cheerless?

Think about it.  Someone took a picture of him, he looked at the picture, and said “USE THAT ONE.”

And so, in honor of Donald, I have decided to rank my own fits of dissatisfaction using the FMU (Fagen Misery Units) scale.

Have to re-record a bass line? That’s one FMU: 

Sucky project at work? That’s a three-bagger:     

You get the idea.

FMU’s.  It’s gonna be a thing.

John here.  Though I’ve primarily played bass guitar in my collaborations with Brian over the last 10 years, I started out as a keyboard player.  And the first keyboard I ever played (in the first band I was ever in back in 10th grade) was the Farfisa Combo Compact.  The sound could be harsh, but the keyboard itself had a great feel, and was awesome for both rhythm accompaniment and solos, especially when paired with a Mutron Phasor II, which I also owned.

Sadly, I never liked that keyboard when I had it — there was another (a Crumar something-or-other) I lusted after that I could have afforded, but that my parents forbade me to buy (confession: my friend Tony and I spent one afternoon cutting wires in the Farfisa guts, in hopes of rendering it unusable so that my parents would relent and permit me to purchase the Crumar — note to kids out there: THIS DID NOT WORK). A few years later, I bought a 3 octave organ/string synthesizer and gave away the Farfisa.

Gave it away.

But if I hadn’t, I believe in my heart that I would have eventually created this video:

Because nothing says “Halloween” like a Michael McDonald parody video, really.